And just as everyone else seems to get happy...

[wednesday_whimsy]

I have been trying to keep myself positive about the Panic(!) split and not take sides and not be hurt and look at all the good stuff and think about the fic. Until tonight, I think I've been doing a good job. 90% of the time since it happened, I have been in a good place with it.

And then I read the interview Brendon gave and, you know what? I don't think it's a nice interview. It made sad. It made me sad in ways Ryan and Spencer's didn't. It made me lose that happy I'd clung on to.

I really don't want to be all emo about it. Everyone else seems all happy and excited and I just can't see it. I hate feeling like this.

Comments

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

Well I understand him not talking about them. I think I'd have been happier if he'd avoided it altogether, but I suppose that's impossible.

I am trying to be happy that they're all happy, I just selfishly sort of want them to be happy together and not give the impression that they were unhappy with the last 6 years.

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

Yeah that might be true. :D

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Hmm? Why not? I don't think it was the great saving grace of fandom or anything like a few other people have said. I also agree that Spencer and Ryan did a better job of reassuring me, but I generally think they're both better interviewees (unpopular opinion, I know...) and I think a lot of the reason I feel that way is because they happened earlier on and I like JMont so much. Nothing about it strikes me as bad, though; he just seems like he's trying to be upbeat about the situation (understandable) and that it's been a very long time coming (not necessarily anything we knew for sure, but a lot of people have suspected it since the split).

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

So yeah, it's been great. I haven't had this much fun playing live in a long time--as [long as] I can remember, so I'm personally stoked.

That was actually the bit that upset me, because that feels like he hasn't been happy with the band and what they were doing, for a long time. I mean they played what? Three shows this year pre-split? Was he happy last year on stage? He seemed happy to me but if that was all an act that's rather disappointing. And that influenced the way I read everything else in the interview. I do understand him wanting to be positive and upbeat, but it makes me sad to think he didn't enjoy Pretty.Odd and the last couple of years.

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, or like you say, maybe he's just not brilliant at expressing himself the way Ryan and Spencer have. idk /o\

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay! Well, no, I hadn't interpreted things that way. Maybe just having the intraband stress gone is making the live experience better for him or maybe he's still on early-tour high (all the band members have that) or maybe he's overcompensating with happiness because he's being interviewed by someone who's looking for cracks in the framework. I just don't think the Poor Miserable Brendon Who's Always Been Miserable thing flies. Nothing else he's said or done really jibes with that.

LOL I'd never say Ryan or Spencer are brilliant at expressing themselves either. They just say things the way I would so I get it more.

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

Well no I didn't think it fit either, which is why it seemed like such a "bad" thing to say to me. Because he didn't seem like he wasn't enjoying it at the time. I guess my first thought was just "Well, were you lying then?" I don't like thinking like that.

:D And yes, I didn't express that brilliantly myself there. I just meant, Ryan and Spencer expressed themselves in a comforting (maybe?) way and Brendon wasn't as good at that.

[marksykins.livejournal.com]

I think I'm okay with believing that's not the case, so I'm just going to go with that. What's easier to fake: One line in an interview from someone who's always been kind of bad at interviews, or two years of public scrutiny?

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

That actually makes a lot of sense. :D

[oddishly.livejournal.com]

I am with this completely :/ It's just -- god, was it all just a charade? Or what?

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Because "as long as I can remember" implies a hell of a long time to not enjoy doing something considering how long it is since they actually did a tour.

And then I think about all the videos and interviews and the show I went to and I think, that can't be true... but if it is, that's just really sad and spoils some of the memories I was happily hanging on to.

[cyclogenesis.livejournal.com]

Dude, I totally cried during the first two songs (and again during Northern Downpour) when I saw them this weekend. Please, do not feel bad about emotional overinvestment in Panic. :(

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I understand that.

The reason I feel bad about about emotional overinvestment, it is that it clouds everything else for me. I wish it didn't.

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

okay, me tooooo! I felt bummed out all day which is RIDICULOUS but it's the only interview that honestly made me feel like crying and I don't know why. I think it's the way he skirts around the questions about the band and talks instead about the fans and how they fans have been so great. And it's like, 'I don't care about the fans! I want you to say explicitly that you still talk to Ryan Ross and wish him well!'
And the whole thing about having so much fun on tour, it just felt like a jab at Ryan and Jon... the whole thing, actually, felt like a jab at Ryan and I'm probably just reading all sorts of things into it but yeah. That's how I feel too. *clings*

[jacqui-hw.livejournal.com]

All I want him to say is that he didn't hate the last two years, because that is the impression I have right now. It does feel like a jab at them. It feels like "I'm happier with them gone" and I really don't want to believe that. *clings back*

[kyasuriin.livejournal.com]

yeah, exactly. I want him to acknowledge that he did have a good time with p.o. I mean, you watch him sing Shout and you can't tell me he's not having the time of his life.