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[personal profile] wednesday_whimsy

It was nearing sunset when Gus and Juliet returned and unloaded another carload of food and water onto the boat.


Shawn was sitting on the edge of the jetty, scribbling on some paper and barely glanced up at them as they passed by.


“Ten minutes and we’re leaving, Guster,” Carlton said, when Gus handed over the last gallon of water. “Go and get him aboard.”


Gus nodded and hurried back over to Shawn. “Are you ready?”


Shawn looked up from his notes and nodded. “Yeah I just need another minute.”


Gus sat down next to him and tried to peer at the paper. “What are you writing?”


“It’s nothing,” Shawn murmured, tilting his arm a little so Gus couldn’t see.


“Shawn,” Gus said, irritated. “What are you doing that you won’t tell me about?”


“Nothing,” Shawn said again. “It’s just private.”


“Private from me?” Gus asked. “What do you keep private from me?”


Shawn snorted. “Oh come on, Gus,” he said. “It’s not like you tell me everything.”


“I tell you most of everything,” Gus said. “Unless there’s a good reason. Is there a good reason for you not showing me what you’re writing?”


“Yes,” Shawn said. “It’s private.”


“Is it about you and Juliet?” Gus asked.


“No,” Shawn sighed.


“You and Lassie?” Gus was watching him carefully, one eyebrow raised and an incredibly smug look on his face.


“No,” Shawn said. “You don’t know anything.”


“I know you kissed him,” Gus said. “And I don’t think it’s fair that you have kissed both Lassie and Juliet on this trip and I haven’t kissed anyone.”


“Do you want me to kiss you?” Shawn asked with a smirk and pursed his lips, leaning towards him.


Gus pushed him away. “You must be out of your damn mind.”


“Lassie? I can talk to him for you,” Shawn said. “I can’t promise I won’t get jealous.”


“If you’re not going to take this seriously,” Gus said, folding his arms.


“I’m not being serious?” Shawn laughed. “If you want to kiss Juliet, just do it. You don’t need my permission.”


“You’ve been after Juliet for five years,” Gus said.


“Yeah,” Shawn said, “and I’m crazy about her, but I don’t think we’re living my the normal rules of the world anymore. There’s just going to be the four of us now, forever.”


Gus stared over at the boat where Lassiter and Juliet were preparing things. “Just the four of us.”


“Is that scarier than the zombies?” Shawn asked.


Gus considered for a moment and finally shook his head. “I’d rather be with you guys than anyone else.”


“Me too,” Shawn said with a smile and looked back at his writing. “My dad gave me this,” he said quietly and Gus looked at him sharply. “It’s a list of rules for surviving.” He smiled a little to himself. “I’m just editing it a little.”


“Why?” Gus asked quietly.


“For someone else, if they ever find it. I want other people to know the kind of person he was.” Shawn handed Gus the sheet of paper. “What do you think?”


Gus took a moment to read over what Shawn had written and then handed it back. “I think that’s perfect,” he said. “Exactly right.”


Shawn smiled and nodded a little. “Thanks man.”


Gus pulled him closer and hugged him awkwardly until Shawn moved and wrapped his arms around him in return.


“Your boyfriend is waving us over,” Gus said against Shawn’s ear a minute later. Shawn pushed him away and laughed.


“He’s not my boyfriend.”


“He is so,” Gus said, getting to his feet and helping Shawn to his.


“Why don’t you try calling him that?” Shawn asked.


“Because he’ll shoot me in the face,” Gus said. “And the only way I’m letting Lassie shoot me in the face is when I’m a zombie.”


“I wouldn’t let Lassie shoot you in the face if you were a zombie,” Shawn said. “I told you. I’d lock you up and keep you as a pet.”


“Thanks man,” Gus said. “That means a lot.”


Lassiter’s waving had become more frantic. Shawn smiled and shook his head, bumping his arm against Gus’s as they walked back towards the boat.


“You really think we’re going to make it?” Gus asked.


Shawn put his arm around Gus’s shoulders. “Yeah,” he said. “I think we’re going to be fine.”


They climbed aboard and Shawn gave Lassiter a quick salute. “Captain.”


“Stop messing around,” Carlton said. “We’re ready to go.”


“So are we,” Gus said.


“I need a bottle,” Shawn said. “Does anyone have a bottle?”


“Yeah, Juliet said and disappeared below deck for a minute, then returned with an empty glass bottle.


Shawn rolled up the paper he’d been writing on, placed it in the bottle, and refastened the top. “Cast off, Lassie. Get us going or... whatever. Let’s go.”


Carlton dragged Gus away to help get them moving. Shawn stayed where he was looking out at the city as they slowly started to get under way. The trees swayed in the wind just past the shoreline, before giving way to the tall buildings, stretching upward for what felt like forever. The glass even shimmered in the sunlight, looking bright and promising.


“We’re safe for a while,” Juliet said, joining him and looking out at the horizon. “Feels good doesn’t it?”


Shawn smiled and nodded. “Feels incredible.”


She linked her arm with his and smiled at him. “What’s that?” she asked, tapping the bottle.


“My dad,” Shawn said.


“Your dad?” Juliet asked, incredulously. “Shawn, come on. You don’t have to tell me.”


“I’m serious,” Shawn said. “I never got to say goodbye. Not really. I want to do something to give him the kind of send off he deserves.”


Juliet squeezed his arm. “That’s a wonderful idea, Shawn.”


Shawn squeezed her arm and nodded. “Thank you.”


“Hey!” Lassiter shouted drawing their attention. “You two can come help, you know? This thing isn’t going to sail itself.”


Shawn and Juliet share a grin and saluted at the same time.


“Aye, aye, Captain,” Juliet said and ran over to help Carlton. Shawn set the bottle down carefully, keeping it out of the way until they eventually made it out to sea, and hurried over to help Gus.


~


If eating a proper meal that Carlton had caught and Juliet had grilled hadn’t felt odd enough, Shawn considered, then being assigned to wash dishes was somehow even stranger. He sat by the edge of the boat, dipping their plates down into the water until they came up clean.


He could hear laughter on the other side of the boat as Juliet and Gus sat cross-legged, playing a game of Scrabble that they’d found below deck.


“Hey,” Carlton said, sitting down beside Shawn and taking the last plate to help him. “This is weird, right?”


Shawn grinned at him. “Weirder than a zombie apocalypse?”


“Maybe,” Carlton admitted, laughing a little. Shawn couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard him laugh, but it felt good. And a little scary. Maybe a lot scary.


They dissolved into silence, happy to listen to Juliet and Gus bicker over whether or not depone was a real word - it was and Juliet would have to learn not to argue with Gus where Scrabble was concerned, Shawn thought. After a moment, Carlton hesitated, pulling out Shawn’s mother’s scarf from his pocket. “Juliet told me that I should give this back to you.”


Shawn took it from him and leaned back against the side of the boat, staring at it as he dragged it through his fingers. “I want her to have it,” he said. “Juliet deserves pretty things. Not zombies and death and...”


“None of us deserve this, Shawn,” Carlton said, settling down beside him. “This is madness.”


Shawn half shrugged and waved the scarf around. “Maybe.”


“Your mom was a good woman,” Carlton said. “Even though she thought I was crazy.”


“You did your psych evaluation in character as Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge,” Shawn said. “You were crazy.”


“Maybe,” Carlton echoed Shawn, with a smile and bumped their shoulders.


“Wow,” Shawn laughed. “Is this all it took to get you to loosen up? An apocalypse?”


Carlton shrugged. “There’s not much point in fighting after everything we’ve been through. You’ve told me all your secrets. You already knew all of mine.”

“Wow,” Shawn said dryly. “The rest of our lives are going to be pretty boring then, huh?”


“I’ll take boring,” Carlton said, still smiling. He leaned down to kiss Shawn quickly, but hard.


Shawn blinked at him for a moment after, pursing his lips as he considered. “What was that for?” he asked finally, when his brain could come up with nothing better to say.


“Payback for earlier,” Carlton said.


“Nothing to do with wanting to kiss me then?” Shawn asked, delighted at the way Carlton turned his head to hide his smile. “Okay then,” Shawn said, starting to get to his feet.


“Where are you going?” Carlton asked, reaching to grasp his arm.


“I’m not going far,” Shawn promised, moving to retrieve the bottle he’d set aside earlier. He was back a moment later, sitting down beside Carlton.


“What’s that?” Carlton asked as Shawn unscrewed the top and took out the paper. He wrapped his mother’s scarf around the note and slid the whole thing back into the bottle and refastened it.


“This is my goodbye to my parents,” Shawn said. “So they’re never forgotten.”


He stood up and threw the bottle as far as he could, watching as it disappeared into the darkness.


“Goodbye, dad.”


~


The Revised Zombie Survival Guide

Dedicated

to

Henry Spencer

The bravest man we ever knew


My dad gave me a set of rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse when I was ten. That may sound like a strange Christmas present, but if you knew my dad, you’d know it came from a place of love. Love and scary, anal-retentive control issues.


I’ve updated the rules as my friends and I have been travelling. I added a couple of new ones. I think my dad would be pleased with them. I hope he’d be pleased with me and everything I’ve done.


I don’t know what’s going to happen now. We’re taking a boat and going south. Maybe we can find a tiny island for the four of us and live off pineapple and coconuts until this is over. It can’t last forever.


# 1. It doesn't matter what caused it. Maybe it's a virus. Maybe it's a Government experiment gone wrong. Maybe an alien spaceship crashed and a parasite is reanimating the dead. None of that matters. The dead shouldn't be able to move of their own accord. So be they zombies, vampires or Frankenstein's monster, stop thinking about why, and start thinking about getting the hell away from them.


# 2. As Buffy once said - Weapons. Weapons. Weapons.


# 3. Anyone who tells you they’re not afraid is lying. It’s okay to be scared.


# 4. Sleep is important. Food is important. You may not want them, but you will need them.


# 5. Planning is all well and good, but when it comes down it, you'll have limited options. The perfect scenario only exists in your head. What vehicle you drive, what weapons you have, what direction you're headed - you can't control any of that. So stick with the people you trust and work together.


# 6. Always take a minute to consider your options. Even the safest route will have obstacles. Be prepared to adapt.


# 7. Before you go in, think about how you'll get out


# 8. Sometimes you're going to be bored. Really, really, mind-numbingly bored. Those are the good times.


# 9. There are other people out there like you. You're all on the same side. Treat them well.


# 10. Time doesn’t stop even if it’s not that important anymore. Laugh when you can. Love when you can. You won’t survive if you don’t.


# 11. You're going to get irritated with the people you're living with. You're going to argue. Sometimes you'll be right. Sometimes they will. Just remember, no argument is worth dying over.


# 12. Learn basic first aid. There's more out there to hurt you than zombies.


# 13. Always have a back up plan. Preferably more than one.


# 14. Don’t draw attention to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with hiding.


# 15. CONSTANT VIGILANCE


# 16. Don't fight unless you have to. It never gets any easier.


#17. There’s nothing wrong with hoping things will get better. Just try to be realistic


# 18. Cherish your memories. The good times were still good. Don't forget.


# 19. Forgive yourself.


# 20. If you find this, good luck. I hope you have friends like mine who can help you make it. I don't know that I will, but I believe in them and they believe in me. That has to count for something.

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