Fic: SPN Sam/Jess. Requested by frikatilhi

[wednesday_whimsy]

1. The first time Sam took Jess out on a date he took a knife and a bottle of holy water with him. All night long he could hear Dean's voice in his head, telling him to be careful. "You have to check man. What if she's a demon? Don't make me drive to Stanford and rescue you from some succubus or I will kick your ass." Halfway through the movie it got too much for him. He crept out to the bathroom and coated his hand in holy water. Settling back into his seat he took Jessica's hand and gave a sigh of relief when she turned to him with that breathtaking smile.

2. The first time Jess stayed over he didn't salt the doors. The windows had never been opened and the thick line of salt remained untouched on the window sills but the doors had to be re-done every night. If Sam was honest with himself, the magic of the night was somewhat spoiled by the nagging thought at the back of his mind that he had to put the salt down and keep them safe. Once Jessica had drifted off to sleep he slipped from the bed and used half the salt he had warding everything twice just to make sure. Then he collapsed on the couch near tears at the stark reminder of how very not-normal his life was. Jess found him there later and soothed him with loving kisses and warm hugs. She noticed the salt, but she didn't ask.

3. Dean rang for the first time on Sam's birthday. Sam was in the shower so Jess answered the phone.

"Hello?"
"Sam?"
"Sam's in the shower, sorry. Can you call back? Or I can get him to call you?"
"Who is this?"
"His girlfriend..."
The near hysterical laughter that followed scared her a little. It wasn't amused. More tortured.
"Well sweetheart could you tell him his brother called to wish him a happy birthday?"
"Dean? Oh my God. I can get him for you."
"Don't worry about it. There's no need for him to call back either. I'm already pretty drunk."
"Don't be silly, he'll want to talk to you."
"What's your name?"
"Jessica."
"can you tell me something Jessica?"
"I can try."
"How's that normal life working out for him? Is he happy?"
"Normal? What does that...? Is this about the ocd?"
"The what?"
"The obsessive compulsive disorder." She lowered her voice. "You know, having the put the salt in front of the doors and..."
This time the laughter was pure amusement.
"He told you it was ocd? Well you have to hand it to him. The kid has balls."
"Dean..."
"Is he happy?"
"I.. I think so. Yes. He seems very happy."
"That's all I needed to know. You take care."
"Wait!"

The dial tone left her with more questions than answers.

4. A month after they'd moved in together, Sam came home late bruised and bleeding. Jess practically leaped off the sofa and ran to him, her hands hovering but never quite landing. He gave a half smile and shuffled into the bathroom, barely acknowledging her worried stream of questions and admonishments as she followed him. He pulled out a first aid kit she'd never seen before and her eyes widened at the contents when he flipped it open. She wanted to scream at him when he pushed a bottle of holy water into her hand, but when he lifted his shirt and turned to show her the long deep cut on his back she found she couldn't. She tipped the water into the wound and bit her lip as it hissed and popped. She bandaged him up, doing everything he told her to without a word. Once they were finished she packed everything away while Sam changed out of his clothes and crawled into bed.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" she asked as they lay next to each other.
"No." His voice broke and she thought maybe her heart did too when she saw a tear slip from the corner of his eye. She wrapped her arms around him carefully and whispered to him that she loved him until he fell asleep.

5. Jessica spent November 2nd 2005 waiting. She got up early and left another message on Sam's phone, telling him she loved him and that she couldn't wait to see him. When she hung up the phone she stared at it for a long time wondering why she had called again when he was due back that night. She had a shower and tied her hair up. She dug out the cd Sam had bought her for Christmas that first year, and stroked a finger over the message he had scrawled on the sleeve. She shivered and pulled on a sweater, turned the music up loud and danced arond the kitchen as she made Sam's favourite chocolate chip cookies. She ate the leftover cookie dough for her lunch and finished the open bottle of her favourite red wine even though she didn't usually drink during the day. Around two o clock she called her mom for no reason and they spent a good hour talking about insignificant things, and as they said their goodbyes Jessica felt the need for assurance that her mother knew she loved her. In the early evening she became restless and started glancing at the door every few minutes. She got ready for bed and turned on the tv but it couldn't hold her attention. She put out a plate of cookies for Sam and wrote a note. Again she stared at it once it was done, but placed it with shaking fingers where Sam would see it when he came home. When the door eventually opened Jessica was the closest she ever came to finding out the truth about Sam. But by then it was too late.