wednesday_whimsy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wednesday_whimsy) wrote2011-06-05 11:59 pm
wednesday_whimsy) wrote2011-06-05 11:59 pm
Entry tags:
June Fanfiction Challenge: Day 5 - Coupling
Title: Festival of Popular Delusions
Fandom: Coupling
Pairing: Patrick/Sally
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jacqui_hw
Rating: PG
Inspiration: June 5th is apparently the Festival of Popular Delusions
Warnings: Spoilers for all seasons, especially season 4.
Word Count: 700
It wasn’t that Patrick was stupid. At least, he didn’t think he was stupid. He had a good job. Good car. Plenty of money. He’d never had any trouble getting a girl he wanted - until Sally, but Sally was different. He was maybe a little selfish and maybe a little lazy, but he’d known long before he’d asked her to marry him - not that he had really asked of course, but it was happening just the same - he’d known that Sally was going to be utterly and completely mental about the whole thing from the moment he asked to the moment they locked the door to the honeymoon suite.
That was just Sally. That was one of the things he loved about her. That someone so beautiful and funny and interesting could be so totally batshit insane about the silliest things should, in all honesty, have sent him running in the opposite direction. It did with Jane. Jane scared the crap out of him. But Sally was crazy in a sweet and fluffy kind of way. The kind of way that his heart do weird jumps and his stomach go all swirly and uncomfortable.
Right now though they were heading into rough water and he was going to have to do something about it because Steve and Oliver weren’t helping. In fact Steve was making everything worse. Really there was only so many times a man could hear about nightly feeding schedules and nappy changing before his head exploded just so it had something interesting to focus on.
“I bought it a size smaller,” Sally was saying to Susan and Jane at the other end of the table, while Steve went on and on and on and on about the baby, as though he was the first person ever to have one. Patrick had been the first person in the UK to buy the Ferrari FF but he hadn’t gone on about it for months on end. Maybe a day. Possibly two.
“Why would you do that?” Susan was asking Sally. “What if it doesn’t fit?”
“I have to lose weight,” Sally replied. “I can’t be a big bride. This will help me. This will be my motivation.”
From the safety of his seat, three people removed from her and pretending to listen to Steve talk about - was he really discussing different brands of talcum powder? - babies, Patrick looked at Sally in a way he hadn’t been allowed to in a long time. That is to say, whenever she asked if she looked fat, he said no. It really made no difference to him how she looked and he knew the answer she wanted, so he just answered and never looked.
“You can’t be serious,” he said after a good five minutes of looking her over. He’d even dropped his fork on the floor to check on her legs.
Everyone stopped talking and turned to stare at him. This must be how Steve felt when he gave one of his speeches, Patrick thought.
“Excuse me?” Sally said, noticing that he was watching her. “Serious about what?”
“Where are you going to lose weight from?” he asked, keeping his eyes on her and praying that his face wasn’t flushed. “You’ll be all skin and bone. Mostly bone.”
Sally’s face was flushed and Patrick thought that maybe this was one of those conversations they should have at home.
Oh well. Too late now. In for a penny.
“My bottom,” Sally hissed. “My...”
“Don’t you dare say breasts,” Patrick said, throwing caution to the wind along with his right to sex for at least a month, judging by the look on Sally’s face. “Your bottom and your breasts are perfect as they are. You are perfect as you are.”
Sally’s mouth dropped open a little. “Wha...?” she began and then changed her mind. “Perfect?”
“Yes,” Patrick said. “Perfect. I want to marry you. Every pound of you. Stop talking nonsense.”
He could probably rule out two months of sex now, but at least it looked like she understood.
“I don’t understand.”
Clearly she’d need some more convincing. At least he had a lifetime to get through to her.
Fandom: Coupling
Pairing: Patrick/Sally
Author:
jacqui_hwRating: PG
Inspiration: June 5th is apparently the Festival of Popular Delusions
Warnings: Spoilers for all seasons, especially season 4.
Word Count: 700
It wasn’t that Patrick was stupid. At least, he didn’t think he was stupid. He had a good job. Good car. Plenty of money. He’d never had any trouble getting a girl he wanted - until Sally, but Sally was different. He was maybe a little selfish and maybe a little lazy, but he’d known long before he’d asked her to marry him - not that he had really asked of course, but it was happening just the same - he’d known that Sally was going to be utterly and completely mental about the whole thing from the moment he asked to the moment they locked the door to the honeymoon suite.
That was just Sally. That was one of the things he loved about her. That someone so beautiful and funny and interesting could be so totally batshit insane about the silliest things should, in all honesty, have sent him running in the opposite direction. It did with Jane. Jane scared the crap out of him. But Sally was crazy in a sweet and fluffy kind of way. The kind of way that his heart do weird jumps and his stomach go all swirly and uncomfortable.
Right now though they were heading into rough water and he was going to have to do something about it because Steve and Oliver weren’t helping. In fact Steve was making everything worse. Really there was only so many times a man could hear about nightly feeding schedules and nappy changing before his head exploded just so it had something interesting to focus on.
“I bought it a size smaller,” Sally was saying to Susan and Jane at the other end of the table, while Steve went on and on and on and on about the baby, as though he was the first person ever to have one. Patrick had been the first person in the UK to buy the Ferrari FF but he hadn’t gone on about it for months on end. Maybe a day. Possibly two.
“Why would you do that?” Susan was asking Sally. “What if it doesn’t fit?”
“I have to lose weight,” Sally replied. “I can’t be a big bride. This will help me. This will be my motivation.”
From the safety of his seat, three people removed from her and pretending to listen to Steve talk about - was he really discussing different brands of talcum powder? - babies, Patrick looked at Sally in a way he hadn’t been allowed to in a long time. That is to say, whenever she asked if she looked fat, he said no. It really made no difference to him how she looked and he knew the answer she wanted, so he just answered and never looked.
“You can’t be serious,” he said after a good five minutes of looking her over. He’d even dropped his fork on the floor to check on her legs.
Everyone stopped talking and turned to stare at him. This must be how Steve felt when he gave one of his speeches, Patrick thought.
“Excuse me?” Sally said, noticing that he was watching her. “Serious about what?”
“Where are you going to lose weight from?” he asked, keeping his eyes on her and praying that his face wasn’t flushed. “You’ll be all skin and bone. Mostly bone.”
Sally’s face was flushed and Patrick thought that maybe this was one of those conversations they should have at home.
Oh well. Too late now. In for a penny.
“My bottom,” Sally hissed. “My...”
“Don’t you dare say breasts,” Patrick said, throwing caution to the wind along with his right to sex for at least a month, judging by the look on Sally’s face. “Your bottom and your breasts are perfect as they are. You are perfect as you are.”
Sally’s mouth dropped open a little. “Wha...?” she began and then changed her mind. “Perfect?”
“Yes,” Patrick said. “Perfect. I want to marry you. Every pound of you. Stop talking nonsense.”
He could probably rule out two months of sex now, but at least it looked like she understood.
“I don’t understand.”
Clearly she’d need some more convincing. At least he had a lifetime to get through to her.